Thursday, 26 February 2015

I'll Take My Anger White Hot

The following contains an unpaid product placement. 

*Where's The Cream

What do you mean …
You don't have any cream
The Starbucks-spoilt princess did yelp
She lamented and let our a scream

Now I know what you are thinking
Our little princess should switch to decaf tea
The problem, our little princess …
                                  our little princess is me

From my dead, gripping talons
Will you get my cup of caffeine
So wipe that silly smirk from your face
Soothe the beast and get me some f**cking cream

Click to hear in its entirety

Well first off … don't worry … I have indeed switched to tea. Decaffeinated … no … that ain't going to  happen … but let's just say I am wake up with an Earl now.

Me and and Jean Luc Picard cannot be wrong … now if only I could get a computer to make mine … hot.

So why did I choose to share with the world a story about me behaving badly. I know you're shaking your head … you being angry … no … not you, Pryde. Yes me and I'm pretty certain you too.  Let's face it; just about all of us experience anger. 

To those of you who have indeed shed your ego and do not experience anger … return to your lotus pad … this does not concern you. I'll let you know when it is over.

So where did my anger come from? In this case hormones had a lot to do with. Being that it was early morning … and I have never been what one would call a morning person ... the hormones that lift my mood were low. 

As we have discussed in past episodes hormones are made in body from neurones firing, resulting in a cascade of events that turn energy into mood.  

The other essential element was thought. I was not thinking … listen Pryde, you are just experiencing a lull because you haven't had your caffeine. You don't really need the cream. Take a deep breath, run around the block, hum a few bars of the Darth Vader theme and imagine the barista is that really annoying general … in other words … laugh it off. No I became Princess Leia when she got mad at poor Chewy because she was really mad at Han. 

You know when she called him a walking carpet. If you haven't figured it out yet … I am indeed a sci-fi nerd. May the force be with and long live the International Sign of the Donut.

I had certain expectations and they were not met. Is not having our expectations met a good reason to get angry? Was my anger justified? Is anger ever justified? Really … It doesn't matter.  A wise man once said that anger is its own punishment and here are the very real reasons why. 

Firstly the reasoning part of your brain shuts down and you respond with the lower parts of your brain and usually end up making things worse.

That's right … you get more stupider and we all know how sexy stupid is.

With chronic anger you face an increased risk of heart attack and stroke. It's not your enemy or the cream that will get you but the anger. 

Oh and did I mention it isn't sexy.

Anger interferes with digestion, can lead to acne and rashes, and over the long-term impairs the immune system. So if you ask me the seeming release of emotion/energy, justified or not, is not worth it. 

Should I hold it in?

No, anger turned inward becomes depression. If you do find yourself angry … stop the thoughts that are fuelling the anger as soon as you can and find a non-destructive outlet for the energy build up. I find just doing some intense contractions can dissipate the built up of energy quite quickly. 

Literally squeeze it out.

But what we really should be doing is looking for ways to stop anger before it happens. In my experience this means getting to know your body and your physical triggers … caffeine drops, sugar drops, lack of sleep, not enough exercise or down time, where you are in your monthly cycle, or  … and boys, just in case you thing I don't mean you … where you are in your daily cycle. If you don't take care of your body you are going to struggle to take of your moods. Get to know you body and get to know your thoughts and what thoughts make you feel bad. Because sometime all anger is a build up of negative thoughts. Give yourself carte blanche permission not to have those thoughts. Anger can be tricky … masquerading as what we might otherwise think of as altruism. But if you're angry then there is nothing altruistic about it. Only the ego gets angry. I know; I know. You want to change the world … make it a better place. So do I. But here's the thing; you can chip away at a mountain of suffering with anger but you just make a bigger mess in the process. 

Are you still angry? Good. Because I am going to talk a little more about it next week. 

May all your lattes be full fat. Unless you like it black … and to that I say … why so bitter;)  

I'll leave you with my apology poem to the Starbucks barista. Blessings.

**Angels of the Morning

* Where's the Cream is published in its entirety in Monsters.
** Angels of the Morning is published in Strays.

Monsters and Strays is available at the link below.
Source …

Thursday, 19 February 2015

There Are Trees Smarter Than You


A cheery little ditty but whether we like it or not winter eventually comes for all of us. I checked it out; I can say without a doubt. Seriously if there is one irrefutable truth this is it. You and everyone you will ever meet , have ever met, will die. 

From what I hear some overachievers have done so many times … can I get a woo hoo for Shirley MacLaine. As Katherine Heigl said  … she is who I want to be when I grow balls. That said … I don't know nothing about no Aliens. Katherine might; she was in Roswell.

But here is the good news … if you are reading this and able to type a response ... you are at this moment still very much alive. But looming … hopefully in the very distant future … is your death. You don't get a choice. 

You do get a choice how you live.

You can make the tried, tested, and failed choice. Live in fear and feed that fear with anger and judgement. Roll yourself up into a tiny frozen ball of condemnation that eventually explodes on the vapours of its own bitterness, harming you and those around you. Go one further … join up with a bunch of other tiny frozen balls that have a liking for the same brand of bitterness and really make a bang. Chose any ideology of your choice, the misdeeds of another, or any particular individual that gets your ego's goat … condemnation and hate are not picky.

Or you can ask yourself if there is another way to look at things. Think not about what you don't want but what you do want. Don't be against war; be for peace. Don't be against the oppressors; be for those who are hungry and dispossessed. A truly wise man chooses no enemies. Today's enemies are tomorrow's allies. History has taught us this again and again … learn this and be ahead of your time. Time travel made easy with love. Take that Einstein. Actually I think the E-man would approve of this message.

I am not saying that life is easy and without challenges. That we shouldn't make changes. Without change life becomes static and dies. But what I am saying is look for love and delight and grow. 

Long-Lived Sequoia 

Actually you'll grow anyways but one way is a lot more painful and takes a lot longer. And remember when you are choosing one way you are by default not choosing the other. You cannot love and hate at the same time. The thing about those strong, tall, and long-lived trees. They know not matter what to  reach for the light.

As always blessings.

Thursday, 12 February 2015

Acupuncture by Fire … Happy Frackin' Valentine's Day

First a Valentine's poem…

Acupuncture By Fire

Falling into romantic love will bring great pleasure but falling out of romantic love … or worse having someone else fall out of romantic love with you … while you still fancy them … brings suffering and tears. But whether or not you have someone to canoodle with on this most forced and expensive day of celebration … Valentine's Day is no cause for suffering.

So if we find you lovelorn and not madly rushing about to find that thing that will prove just how much you love your significant other … I'm here to help.

Actually I can help the shoppers too … flowers and food … yeah that's the big secret that we all know and yet stress over.

But for the lovelorn … First what NOT to do.

Drink … 

Yes for about hour you'll feel great and then the euphoria will drop and you will either have to pick a fight and risk messing up that pretty face or fall into a despair so deep that it will have you rending your clothes. 

I'm not kidding …

Poor Che … he never saw it coming.

And don't do what I did … I did and did some more

Phantom Gestation

Do not think about him or her and worse pray for Mr. or Ms. Didn't-know-how-good-they-had-it to return. If you've been told it's over ... or you know it should be over because the object of your affection is emotionally and/or physically abusive … let the hopes, memories, and recriminations go. Let the thoughts go.

I'll say it one more time let the thoughts go.

I grant there may need for some self-reflection so we do not repeat destructive patterns. Write about the experience or have a talk with supportive friend or counsellor. But there comes the time when self-reflection becomes self-destructive rumination and gains a life force of its own. Don't feed what Eckhart Tolle calls the pain-body with your thoughts. The pain-body cannot be satiated … it's never full … there's only starving it. 

Now I'm talking about thoughts … not feelings.

You have to feel your feelings or they get swallowed up by the body and become disease or escape as anger. Scientist have studied what goes on in the brain when you fall in love. With the hormones produced you are in actuality in an addictive state. You depend on the physical presence of your loved one to feel good. You will need some time for the addiction to go away.

You could throw yourself into another relationship and use transference  … the methadone of romantic healing.

In my experience this is only escapism and does not offer a permanent solution. At some point you will have to finish feeling your grief. But scientist have also discovered that all your feelings at their root are hormones fuelled by bio-electical charge.

That's right … they're just energy. Thoughts plus energy equals feelings.

Don't refuel your grief with thoughts and it will expand and then dissipate. You'll cry … you'll cry a lot. But you will heal and you'll be left with the confidence that you can weather future romantic endeavours and knowing you have the strength to heal.


We are her to love and learn. Alas the learning can be painful at times. We've all been there or will be shortly; so remember you're in good company and never alone ... even on Valentine's day.

Stupid holiday …

That's it for now … please like, share, and comment. And let me know if there's something you'd like me to look in to.

Remember you heart only gets all the more chic with wear.

Happy Frackin' Valentine's Day. Blessings.

Friday, 6 February 2015

On Judgement, Stick, Stones and Bird Droppings

First the poem … 

Cyber Stones

I wrote this piece after I saw an online post of man perpetuating some pretty horrendous violence. If the pictures were an accurate portrayal he did no less than torture another living being. My first feelings were a tremendous sense of empathy for the one being tortured. I wanted to reach into those pictures and stop what was going on. But the abuse had occurred in the past and there's no going into the past. There is preventing future occurrences. We have our laws; we have prison. But since most abuse goes unreported our best hope lies in greater awareness and empathy. 

Did these photos increase awareness and empathy… 

The comment feed presented an ever growing list of condemnation of the perpetuator and/or worse promising to do the same thing to him should the opportunity arise. Well here's the bad news ... anger crowds out empathy. You cannot feel empathy for one while feeling anger for another … at least not at the same time. Your mind is either involved in being angry or being empathetic. 

Go ahead … give it a try. 

I've seen this kind of commenting behaviour time and time again and for far less atrocious acts …. or attached to items like all those Walmart posts, … condemnation offered up for nothing more than having a questionable fashion sense. So what that tells me is that the comments are not about the act but rather a chance to serve the ego through anger and/or exercising a false sense of superiority. 

I've been there I get it, but understand when you choose to feed your anger … you starve your empathy.

Heres the thing when I looked at those photos I saw two beings in pain. Because you can depend, when the victimizer had been young, someone had done something very similar to him. 

How can I give empathy to a monster ...

Whether you come down on the side of nature or nurture ... until we learn to transcend our own fear, lust, and anger ... we are a combined product of our DNA and environment. We have no control over our genetics and when we are young, we have very little control over our environment. Given the same DNA and with the same upbringing and faced with the same situation, you would behave the same way. Don't kid yourself otherwise. 

That's right. If you consider yourself a morally, well-adjusted individual … you got lucky. Psychopathy is either inherited or instilled when one is young. But don't don't just take my word for it. I highly recommend you watch the psychopath next door. The link is supplied below.

I am not saying close down all the prisons ... it is anything goes time ...  but even with out most destructive members of society there is a call for empathy and an attempt to understand the factors that contribute to anti-social behaviour. We'll get better at recognizing and treating psychopathy and before truly horrendous things can occur. It is more effective than prison and condemnation. As I stated earlier most abusive behaviour goes unreported and as such our laws and judgement do little to prevent it.

Seriously ... we've been condemning and judging for millenniums. 

In the end your judgement does little to help the situation, has a negative effect on you and the one's around you, and prevents learning and increased awareness. But just in case you needed some more convincing … here's one more poem

Take To the Lofty


The punch line here is linked to the bird's lack of a sphincter muscle. It's nothing personal when the white stuff takes purchase on your shoulder. The bird can't help where his droppings land ... but you can. There is enough misery in the world without you adding your condemnation to it. So hold that stuff in and ask yourself is there another way to see this … it's one better than alchemy. 

I'll let you think on that one … ohhh … oooh …  It's just nature ladies and gentlemen:)

Alright on that note I'll say good-bye for now. Please like and comment. Your support is very much appreciated and I know you have much to contribute to the discussion. Blessings 

Link for the Psychopath Next Door